Quote

I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?

Maria Bamford

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TAGS & TOPICS

Maria Bamford
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: September 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Port Hueneme
California
Maria Elizabeth Sheldon Bamford
Need
Shadow
Needs
Pay
Work
Equal
Commercials
Thinking
Gets
Lipstick
Stand
Fats
Stop
Makeup
Eye
Keeps
Makes
Lips

More quotes by Maria Bamford

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The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can't think of it.
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I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It's nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I'm solo for the most part.
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I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.
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I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.
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Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.
Maria Bamford
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I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.
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When you're a comedian, you're just by yourself.
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Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!
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We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good.
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If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't you have friends and family take pictures of you from a safe distance? Revel in your majestic profile?
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Time flies when you are anxious!
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I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice.
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People get really irritated by mental illness.
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My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time
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I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.
Maria Bamford
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I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.
Maria Bamford
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I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.
Maria Bamford
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I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather.
Maria Bamford
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I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.
Maria Bamford
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Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.
Maria Bamford