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I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

Marcus Brigstocke

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Marcus Brigstocke
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 8
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Marcus Alexander Brigstocke
Hate
Incapable
Right
Supposed
Truly
Amount
Packing
Minutes
Learnt
Leave
Airports
Probably
Clothings
Start
Clothing

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I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling.
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I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.
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I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.
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My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.
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There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.
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I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.
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And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.
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I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.
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No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.
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If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
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If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.
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I have a very good memory for scripts. I can watch a show I like once, then remember about 90% of the script. But ask me who was in it, and I wouldn't have a clue.
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If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.
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Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'
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All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.
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I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.
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I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.
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I failed to get into drama school, and my best friend told me I should do stand-up instead. I was always doing gags and voices, so he booked a gig for me without telling me. I only had four days to write it. I did a seven-minute set the first four minutes were terrible, but the last two were amazing.
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Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important.
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