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They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would have puppets.

Marc Maron

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Marc Maron
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: September 27
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Producer
Jersey City
New Jersey
Marcus David Maron
Country
Drugs
Would
Drug
Humor
Working
Funny
Puppets
Jobs
Testing
Three
Comics
Two
Dependent

More quotes by Marc Maron

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Let's be honest, this is a consumer based economy in America. That's all we manufacture here is need and appetite. We are the world's mouth. They make things in other countries, and they're like, 'Send it to America they'll eat it.'
Marc Maron
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Everyone is a little bitter. We're born bitter. The personality itself is really just a very complex defense mechanism. A reaction to the first time someone said, No you can't.
Marc Maron
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I always thought I was funny, but I was very sensitive, and very provocative just to get a rise out of people.
Marc Maron
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As I became very conscious and more aware of things I got very into the beatniks and that kind of stuff. They were very important to me for a few years.
Marc Maron
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My dad is actually a manic depressive, which is very exciting half the time.
Marc Maron
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That's an animal fable about humility. If you survive your mistake, you must learn from it. Accept that you're fragile, vulnerable, and sometimes stupid. Realize that you're not immortal and you've got to take care of yourself. And then laugh it off and fly away.
Marc Maron
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Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Middle East. They get to Israel and just snap.
Marc Maron
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How complicated can ice cream flavors be? How much can you put in there? I mean, when the flavor's something like banana ice cream with caramel, fudge chunks, cheddar goldfish and pennies - you've got to draw a line there.
Marc Maron
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The way I figure it, if you can't tell I'm high by looking at me, I win.
Marc Maron
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I'm just looking for authentic engagement of some kind, and usually, after an hour or more, you get that. Some people talk at you. Some people just want to answer questions, but a lot of times, all of a sudden you drift away, and you don't remember you're on the mic, and you're in something real.
Marc Maron
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It always astounds me that over the course of my career, and having lived in four comedy cities - New York, Boston, San Francisco, and Los Angeles - there's very few people I haven't run into.
Marc Maron
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I'm weird I have a very strange emotional memory. I really somehow hold on to even passing moments with people.
Marc Maron
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I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's taken me years to put him into context historically and really get what he did.
Marc Maron
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Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain.
Marc Maron
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For 15 years of my life I smoked, I drank, I used to do drugs... but during that time, I never once thought I was going to die. But the second I set foot on a stairmaster -the second- I am sure my heart is gonna explode and blood is gonna spray out of my nose.
Marc Maron
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When you're a kid, you always feel you have this weird kindred-spirit thing with other Jews, until you get older and you realize it's just middle-class bourgeois Jews that sort of fit a template that your family fits into one way or another.
Marc Maron
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I knew most of my radio listeners were lefty political people, and I decided definitively not to be that guy - not to address politics.
Marc Maron
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I'm just very sort of compulsive and lack the ability to keep things in perspective. If I'm not writing or playing guitar or on the microphone or out on the road, I'm cleaning pots and pans or freaking out about some plumbing issue or tweeting.
Marc Maron
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In show business, it takes 10 years to create an overnight success. You've heard that, right? But what you don't hear is that that's the exact same amount of time it takes to create a bitter failure.
Marc Maron
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In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.
Marc Maron