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They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would have puppets.

Marc Maron

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Marc Maron
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: September 27
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Producer
Jersey City
New Jersey
Marcus David Maron
Working
Funny
Puppets
Jobs
Testing
Three
Comics
Two
Dependent
Country
Drugs
Would
Drug
Humor

More quotes by Marc Maron

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I remember seeing Richard Pryor's first movie it was a midnight movie when I was in high school. I must have been about fifteen. It was one of the most cathartic experiences of my life. I'd never laughed that much.
Marc Maron
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Once I learned how to talk, personally, by myself to any number of people, which means do radio without talking to anyone in particular on the air - I just found that my brain became very free to engage in a sort of stream-of-consciousness style of doing what I do.
Marc Maron
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As I became very conscious and more aware of things I got very into the beatniks and that kind of stuff. They were very important to me for a few years.
Marc Maron
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I didn't really want to kill myself, it just made me feel better to know I could if I wanted to.
Marc Maron
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The way I figure it, if you can't tell I'm high by looking at me, I win.
Marc Maron
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I immediately went out and bought a book on anger management. And now I have that book, and I don't know if I'll get to the book. But I'm certainly excited about the day where I can't find the book, and I get to say, 'Where the hell is my anger management book?!'
Marc Maron
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I have a very primitive sense that if I just turn on a radio or the television, that somebody's playing that stuff for me.
Marc Maron
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I'm just very sort of compulsive and lack the ability to keep things in perspective. If I'm not writing or playing guitar or on the microphone or out on the road, I'm cleaning pots and pans or freaking out about some plumbing issue or tweeting.
Marc Maron
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We live in an age where people are like, I'd love to catch up. Maybe text me later? But don't call because I don't really listen to my messages. But if you text me... We've displaced interaction into sound bites and untethered phrases and sentences that come up on the phone as Twitter feed.
Marc Maron
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They used to have a smoking section at most airports. No more. They now have these glass-encased rooms. You're not just a smoker, you're an example to other people. You're an exhibit at a futuristic zoo.
Marc Maron
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In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.
Marc Maron
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As a performer you are being used to keep people watching so the commercial endorsements that support the network can be seen by as many people as possible.
Marc Maron
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I'm not against people just being funny or telling stories. I don't need to delve into the soft, dark core all the time. If it happens, it happens.
Marc Maron
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I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's taken me years to put him into context historically and really get what he did.
Marc Maron
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Surveillance induced morality: relics of cultural retardation.
Marc Maron
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Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'
Marc Maron
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Is it hard to make a living in show business? Yeah.
Marc Maron
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I seem to offend everybody. I just never got into the universe. I don't seem to have a tremendous amount of discipline or patience with having to follow a story that is really multi-leveled and science-fiction.
Marc Maron
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I'm just looking for authentic engagement of some kind, and usually, after an hour or more, you get that. Some people talk at you. Some people just want to answer questions, but a lot of times, all of a sudden you drift away, and you don't remember you're on the mic, and you're in something real.
Marc Maron
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I'm weird I have a very strange emotional memory. I really somehow hold on to even passing moments with people.
Marc Maron