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Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
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Obliterate
Reconciliation
Signs
Relationship

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it's hypocrisy.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it's slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn't be causing you any torment.
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
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I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who despises having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.
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It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.
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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.
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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
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It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
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To stop challenging someone from using anti-gay language simply because they persist in using anti-gay language strikes me as a defeatist approach.
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You have a wonderful opportunity here to not care about something that doesn’t matter to you. Please don’t miss out on it.
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Tenancy laws can be so complicated I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
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It can't hurt to have a backup.
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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.
Mallory Ortberg