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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
Mallory Ortberg
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Mallory Ortberg
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More quotes by Mallory Ortberg
Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
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If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us. Only you can help fight ghosting.
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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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Some struggling marriages can be salvaged with hard work and counseling others should be dismantled and stripped for parts.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
Mallory Ortberg
Diapers do not belong on the same table as food.
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Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.
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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
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You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.
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It's one thing to be a high achiever it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the misfortune to drive a bus for a living.
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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.
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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.
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Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.
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Tenancy laws can be so complicated I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.
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It can't hurt to have a backup.
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Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
Mallory Ortberg