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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
State
Landlord
Order
Rent
America
Legal
States
Lifestyle
Property
Demand
Lead
Healthy
Tenants

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.
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You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.
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There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.
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If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, Yes, it bothers me. Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock
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Someone who responds to Please don't grope me with whining and pouting isn't a friend. He's an asshole and a predator.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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To stop challenging someone from using anti-gay language simply because they persist in using anti-gay language strikes me as a defeatist approach.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.
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I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney only to family members.
Mallory Ortberg
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
Mallory Ortberg
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You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very much you can also give yourself credit for the work you're already doing.
Mallory Ortberg
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Some struggling marriages can be salvaged with hard work and counseling others should be dismantled and stripped for parts.
Mallory Ortberg
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We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
Mallory Ortberg
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Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it's hypocrisy.
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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
Mallory Ortberg