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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Frustration
Potential
Exercise
Almost
Belief
Always
Dating

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.
Mallory Ortberg
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You have a wonderful opportunity here to not care about something that doesn’t matter to you. Please don’t miss out on it.
Mallory Ortberg
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It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
Mallory Ortberg
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
Mallory Ortberg
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The hardest part about being ghosted is the fact that you can't deal with the ghoster directly. You just never hear from them again, and everything feels odd and incomplete.
Mallory Ortberg
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There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
Mallory Ortberg
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I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
Mallory Ortberg
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I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney only to family members.
Mallory Ortberg
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Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!
Mallory Ortberg
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Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.
Mallory Ortberg
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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.
Mallory Ortberg
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Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
Mallory Ortberg
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
Mallory Ortberg
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Some struggling marriages can be salvaged with hard work and counseling others should be dismantled and stripped for parts.
Mallory Ortberg
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As you feel increasingly comfortable around your friends, I think it's more than fine to share the basic details of your heroin addiction with them. If they seem receptive, you can feel free to talk about it in further detail if they seem judgmental or uncomfortable, you can move on to other topics.
Mallory Ortberg
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If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us. Only you can help fight ghosting.
Mallory Ortberg
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You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.
Mallory Ortberg
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Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.
Mallory Ortberg
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If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
Mallory Ortberg
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Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.
Mallory Ortberg