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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Mocked
Yelled
Assure
Getting
Kids

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
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It can't hurt to have a backup.
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Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
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It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.
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You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.
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You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.
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To stop challenging someone from using anti-gay language simply because they persist in using anti-gay language strikes me as a defeatist approach.
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Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.
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Anyone who wants to pretend that your Huntington's disease is an invention is someone who does not have your best interests at heart.
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We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
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Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
Mallory Ortberg