Quote

Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.

Mallory Ortberg

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mallory Ortberg
Good
People
Email
Reading
Comes
Nothing

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

Image
You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very much you can also give yourself credit for the work you're already doing.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it's slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn't be causing you any torment.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
As you feel increasingly comfortable around your friends, I think it's more than fine to share the basic details of your heroin addiction with them. If they seem receptive, you can feel free to talk about it in further detail if they seem judgmental or uncomfortable, you can move on to other topics.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Some struggling marriages can be salvaged with hard work and counseling others should be dismantled and stripped for parts.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Tenancy laws can be so complicated I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney only to family members.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
Mallory Ortberg