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You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.
Mallory Ortberg
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Mallory Ortberg
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More quotes by Mallory Ortberg
If you’re so forgetful that you’re incapable of remembering that a co-worker isn’t pregnant on three separate occasions in as many months, I worry about your memory and cognition skills.
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As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
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I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.
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It's one thing to be a high achiever it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the misfortune to drive a bus for a living.
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Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
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o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to take a cruise just to see you get married, and they’re perfectly justified in saying no if they don’t have the time, the money, or simply the inclination.
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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
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It's OK to tell your partner to objectify you. That's part of the fun of having a partner.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
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Diapers do not belong on the same table as food.
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Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!
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A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.
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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.
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It can't hurt to have a backup.
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