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You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
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More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to take a cruise just to see you get married, and they’re perfectly justified in saying no if they don’t have the time, the money, or simply the inclination.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
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There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.
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If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
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I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about there are a lot worse things that could slip across the transom of your unconscious mind than an old high school crush who was always nice to you.
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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.
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It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.
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Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
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Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.
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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
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If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, Yes, it bothers me. Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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Tenancy laws can be so complicated I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.
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We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
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I'm pretty sure there's no sexuality that justifies constant low-level harassment.
Mallory Ortberg