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I'm pretty sure there's no sexuality that justifies constant low-level harassment.
Mallory Ortberg
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Mallory Ortberg
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More quotes by Mallory Ortberg
Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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It's OK to tell your partner to objectify you. That's part of the fun of having a partner.
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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
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You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.
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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
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As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
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There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
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Someone who responds to Please don't grope me with whining and pouting isn't a friend. He's an asshole and a predator.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
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Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.
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Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!
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One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
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