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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Feel
Stopped
Hives
Feels
Mere
Annuals
Like
Asking
Annual
Members
Intentionally
Family
Bonus
Idea
Sending
Makes
Member
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Breaking

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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
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o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to take a cruise just to see you get married, and they’re perfectly justified in saying no if they don’t have the time, the money, or simply the inclination.
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It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
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Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
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The hardest part about being ghosted is the fact that you can't deal with the ghoster directly. You just never hear from them again, and everything feels odd and incomplete.
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Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it's slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn't be causing you any torment.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.
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I'm pretty sure there's no sexuality that justifies constant low-level harassment.
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I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.
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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.
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Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.
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If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
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Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!
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