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There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Thought
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Disconcerting
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More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
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Tenancy laws can be so complicated I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.
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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
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One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
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If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us. Only you can help fight ghosting.
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I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.
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If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
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We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
Mallory Ortberg
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.
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If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, Yes, it bothers me. Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock
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You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very much you can also give yourself credit for the work you're already doing.
Mallory Ortberg
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Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.
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