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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Embarrassing
Assumption
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Butting
May
Assumptions
Disability
Distress

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.
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Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
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You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very much you can also give yourself credit for the work you're already doing.
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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.
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Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it's slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn't be causing you any torment.
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Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.
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It can't hurt to have a backup.
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I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about there are a lot worse things that could slip across the transom of your unconscious mind than an old high school crush who was always nice to you.
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There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
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Nothing good comes of reading other people's emails.
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There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.
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You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.
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It's OK to tell your partner to objectify you. That's part of the fun of having a partner.
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If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us. Only you can help fight ghosting.
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It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.
Mallory Ortberg
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.
Mallory Ortberg
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Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.
Mallory Ortberg
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It's one thing to be a high achiever it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the misfortune to drive a bus for a living.
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