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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Embarrassing
Assumption
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Butting
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Assumptions
Disability
Distress

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
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Anyone who wants to pretend that your Huntington's disease is an invention is someone who does not have your best interests at heart.
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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.
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Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.
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One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.
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It's one thing to be a high achiever it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the misfortune to drive a bus for a living.
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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.
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Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
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Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it's slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn't be causing you any torment.
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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
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I'm of the opinion that it is always a kind and appropriate decision to get in touch with someone who's lost a loved one to remind them that you're thinking of them and have fond memories of the deceased.
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Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
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Diapers do not belong on the same table as food.
Mallory Ortberg
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I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
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Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.
Mallory Ortberg
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There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.
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As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
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