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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
Mallory Ortberg
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Mallory Ortberg
Saying
Stop
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Stepping
Back
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Permission
Without
Clearly
Touch
Please
More quotes by Mallory Ortberg
The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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Diapers do not belong on the same table as food.
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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.
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I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.
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I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about there are a lot worse things that could slip across the transom of your unconscious mind than an old high school crush who was always nice to you.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
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It's one thing to be a high achiever it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the misfortune to drive a bus for a living.
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If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, Yes, it bothers me. Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock
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I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
Mallory Ortberg
You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very much you can also give yourself credit for the work you're already doing.
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There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.
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Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.
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To stop challenging someone from using anti-gay language simply because they persist in using anti-gay language strikes me as a defeatist approach.
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Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.
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Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
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