Quote

Tenancy laws can be so complicated I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.

Mallory Ortberg

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mallory Ortberg
Make
Protected
Complicated
Laws
Possible
Law
Sure
Much

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

Image
I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney only to family members.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very much you can also give yourself credit for the work you're already doing.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Diapers do not belong on the same table as food.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
You have a wonderful opportunity here to not care about something that doesn’t matter to you. Please don’t miss out on it.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, Yes, it bothers me. Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Anyone who wants to pretend that your Huntington's disease is an invention is someone who does not have your best interests at heart.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
I'm pretty sure there's no sexuality that justifies constant low-level harassment.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who despises having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
Mallory Ortberg
Image
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us. Only you can help fight ghosting.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
Mallory Ortberg
Image
I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
Mallory Ortberg