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Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Children
Badgers
People
Admitting
Leave
Secret
Anyone
Sure
Desire
Without
Badger

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Some struggling marriages can be salvaged with hard work and counseling others should be dismantled and stripped for parts.
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If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us. Only you can help fight ghosting.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
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If you’re so forgetful that you’re incapable of remembering that a co-worker isn’t pregnant on three separate occasions in as many months, I worry about your memory and cognition skills.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
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You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.
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Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it's hypocrisy.
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I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
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A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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You have a wonderful opportunity here to not care about something that doesn’t matter to you. Please don’t miss out on it.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who despises having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.
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