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It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Rudeness
Tempting
Return

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.
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I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney only to family members.
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I'm of the belief that dating potential is almost always an exercise in frustration.
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A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over let them go.
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There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.
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It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.
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If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, Please don't touch me should get them to stop.
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It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.
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If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, Yes, it bothers me. Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock
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It can't hurt to have a backup.
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Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
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Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
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Someone who has a disability is not necessarily in distress. You may be embarrassing and inconveniencing someone by butting in and making assumptions.
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There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.
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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.
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Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it's slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn't be causing you any torment.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.
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If you’re so forgetful that you’re incapable of remembering that a co-worker isn’t pregnant on three separate occasions in as many months, I worry about your memory and cognition skills.
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