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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.

Mallory Ortberg

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Mallory Ortberg
Events
Ends
Everything
Rude
Letting

More quotes by Mallory Ortberg

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Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
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If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is don't go to potlucks, not insist other people don't have them.
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Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.
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You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.
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We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
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Someone who responds to Please don't grope me with whining and pouting isn't a friend. He's an asshole and a predator.
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In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a healthy lifestyle in order to rent property.
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I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who despises having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.
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One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
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It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!
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Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
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I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.
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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
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Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
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You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.
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You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.
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You have a wonderful opportunity here to not care about something that doesn’t matter to you. Please don’t miss out on it.
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I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about there are a lot worse things that could slip across the transom of your unconscious mind than an old high school crush who was always nice to you.
Mallory Ortberg
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You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
Mallory Ortberg
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I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney only to family members.
Mallory Ortberg