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The censors wouldn't even let me sit on a guy's lap, and I've been on more laps than a table-napkin.

Mae West

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Mae West
Age: 87 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 17
Died: 1980
Died: November 22
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Playwright
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Mary Jane West
Jane West
Even
Censors
Laps
Napkins
Lap
Table
Tables
Wouldn
Guy
Napkin

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It takes two to get one in trouble.
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Don't forget honey. Never let one man worry your mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em.
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[On the metaphysical:] ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more.
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No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.
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No gold-digging for me I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.
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Don't come crawlin' to a man for love-he likes to get a run for his money.
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I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
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I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.
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Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home)
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When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.
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Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.
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I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
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Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.
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All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
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Men are all alike - except the one you've met who's different.
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If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.
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I'm a good woman for a bad man.
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It's not what you say, but how you say it!
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Never ask a man where's he's been. If he's out on legitimate business, he doesn't need an alibi. And, girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it's your own fault.
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Sometimes it seems to me I've known so many men that the FBI ought to come to me first to compare fingerprints.
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