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The censors wouldn't even let me sit on a guy's lap, and I've been on more laps than a table-napkin.

Mae West

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Mae West
Age: 87 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 17
Died: 1980
Died: November 22
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Playwright
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Mary Jane West
Jane West
Even
Censors
Laps
Napkins
Lap
Table
Tables
Wouldn
Guy
Napkin

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Men would wither and custom stale them, but diamonds! Ah, they were crystallized immortality!
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I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
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One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
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I have never loved a man as much as I have loved myself
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March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.
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The bite of existence did not cut into one in Hollywood.
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I always did like a man in uniform. And that one fits you grand. Why don't you come up sometime and see me?
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Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.
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Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home)
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Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you
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I only have 'yes' men around me. Who needs 'no' men?
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Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
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Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
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Don't forget honey. Never let one man worry your mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em.
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