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His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

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Mae West
Age: 87 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 17
Died: 1980
Died: November 22
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Playwright
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Mary Jane West
Jane West
Life
Stork
Storks
Thrown
Kept
Mom
Away
Mother

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I've been in 'Who's Who' and I know what's what, but it'll be the first time I ever made the dictionary.
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When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.
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When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.
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One more drink and I'll be under the host.
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Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
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Just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.
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Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
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Sometimes it seems to me I've known so many men that the FBI ought to come to me first to compare fingerprints.
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I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.
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It takes two to get one in trouble.
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I have never loved a man as much as I have loved myself
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Don't ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.
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Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
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It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
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Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening. . . . Come up. I'll tell your fortune. . . . Ah, you can be had.
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I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness
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In my long and colorful career, one thing stands out: I have been misunderstood.
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Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often.
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An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
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