The body image took a real battering. I had really not taken on board how I would feel dressed in a flimsy dress in front of millions of people.

Looking back, perhaps the single biggest problem was fear. Fear of failure, fear of other people, but mostly fear of myself. It has taken sixty years to discover who I really am. It's never too late to find yourself however lost you may be.

These things are sent to try us, but why me?

I drank to be funny, or sexy. I drank because I was afraid or happy or sad, and I drank for anything that required emotional commitment. ... I had chosen a profession that thrives on insecurity, and is never far from some source of social intercourse that involves alcohol or drugs.

Grasp it all, don't be afraid, enjoy the bits you can and tell your family you love them while you have the chance.

I face my demons and embrace my fate.

There is nothing like the camaraderie that one has with fellow drinkers. It is a club you never leave once you join. Well, willingly or easily.