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This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?
Louise Rennison
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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
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Hair
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First
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Sticking
More quotes by Louise Rennison
Unbelievable! I said, What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?
Louise Rennison
Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.
Louise Rennison
If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison
How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
Louise Rennison
Out on the moors, The lonely moors, I roll around in sheep poo. Heathcliff, it's youuuuu, I hate you, I love you tooooo. Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee, Catheeeeeeee. Look out of your windooooow.
Louise Rennison
I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
Louise Rennison
I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
What is that song they are singing Is it an old Yorkshire ditty you know like that 'On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at' Ruby said Nah it's a football song. It goes 'We hate Chelsea we hate Chelsea we are the Chelsea haters.
Louise Rennison
Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
Louise Rennison
There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
Louise Rennison
Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on
Louise Rennison
P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.
Louise Rennison
Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
Louise Rennison
I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
Louise Rennison
I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet - Georgia Nicolson
Louise Rennison
Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.
Louise Rennison
At that point Ms Fox came in and said, Hello, carry on as if I am not here. Then she lay down on the floor.
Louise Rennison
I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?
Louise Rennison
I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
Louise Rennison
I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
Louise Rennison