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This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Sticking
Hair
Rest
Firsts
First
Life
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More quotes by Louise Rennison

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When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made.
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P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.
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Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.
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I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
Louise Rennison
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Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.
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How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.
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The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
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He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.
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Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
Louise Rennison
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At that point Ms Fox came in and said, Hello, carry on as if I am not here. Then she lay down on the floor.
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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
Louise Rennison
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Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
Louise Rennison
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Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.
Louise Rennison
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison
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You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
Louise Rennison
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As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
Louise Rennison
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And that's when it fell off in my hand
Louise Rennison
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What is that song they are singing Is it an old Yorkshire ditty you know like that 'On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at' Ruby said Nah it's a football song. It goes 'We hate Chelsea we hate Chelsea we are the Chelsea haters.
Louise Rennison
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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
Louise Rennison