Quote

The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling. ... Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie.

Louise Rennison

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Ladies
Gentleman
Breathing
Heavy
Sorry
Crackling
Hold
Momentarily
Hear
Gentlemen
Lost
Pie

More quotes by Louise Rennison

Image
Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
Louise Rennison
Image
How do you make yourself not like someone?
Louise Rennison
Image
Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?
Louise Rennison
Image
He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.
Louise Rennison
Image
If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison
Image
...Then it said on the news, And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten. I looked down at Jas and said, Ooer. Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.
Louise Rennison
Image
Maybe he overreacted a bit. - A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.
Louise Rennison
Image
What is that song they are singing Is it an old Yorkshire ditty you know like that 'On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at' Ruby said Nah it's a football song. It goes 'We hate Chelsea we hate Chelsea we are the Chelsea haters.
Louise Rennison
Image
I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
Louise Rennison
Image
As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
Louise Rennison
Image
This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
Louise Rennison
Image
I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?
Louise Rennison
Image
Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
Louise Rennison
Image
I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
Image
Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
Louise Rennison
Image
Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?
Louise Rennison
Image
I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
Louise Rennison
Image
I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.
Louise Rennison
Image
Watching TV mum said, Do you miss your dad? And I said, Who?
Louise Rennison
Image
Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.
Louise Rennison