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I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?
Louise Rennison
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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
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Everyone
Speak
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Giving
English
Americans
Bits
Nations
More quotes by Louise Rennison
I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.
Louise Rennison
He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
Louise Rennison
Watching TV mum said, Do you miss your dad? And I said, Who?
Louise Rennison
P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.
Louise Rennison
He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.
Louise Rennison
Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
Louise Rennison
I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
Louise Rennison
The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
Louise Rennison
Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.
Louise Rennison
I think 'growing up' would mean that you are incredibly tolerant and easygoing, liked everything, curious about the world because you weren't so egotistically driven.
Louise Rennison
Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.
Louise Rennison
Unbelievable! I said, What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?
Louise Rennison
Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
Louise Rennison
When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made.
Louise Rennison
Maybe he overreacted a bit. - A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.
Louise Rennison
I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
Louise Rennison
Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.
Louise Rennison
Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.
Louise Rennison
I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
Louise Rennison