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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Startled
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More quotes by Louise Rennison

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Maybe he overreacted a bit. - A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.
Louise Rennison
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Heathcliff. The hero of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
Louise Rennison
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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
Louise Rennison
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I think 'growing up' would mean that you are incredibly tolerant and easygoing, liked everything, curious about the world because you weren't so egotistically driven.
Louise Rennison
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Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.
Louise Rennison
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The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
Louise Rennison
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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
Louise Rennison
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?
Louise Rennison
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Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
Louise Rennison
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And that's when it fell off in my hand
Louise Rennison
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Out on the moors, The lonely moors, I roll around in sheep poo. Heathcliff, it's youuuuu, I hate you, I love you tooooo. Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee, Catheeeeeeee. Look out of your windooooow.
Louise Rennison
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Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.
Louise Rennison
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Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.
Louise Rennison
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Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
Louise Rennison
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As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
Louise Rennison
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Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?
Louise Rennison
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I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.
Louise Rennison
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This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
Louise Rennison
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I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
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I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
Louise Rennison