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Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Nice
Plum
Plums
Ring
Sugar
Rings
Dance

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I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
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How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
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Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on
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He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.
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Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
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Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.
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The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
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This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
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I think 'growing up' would mean that you are incredibly tolerant and easygoing, liked everything, curious about the world because you weren't so egotistically driven.
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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
Louise Rennison
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Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.
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I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.
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When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.
Louise Rennison
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I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
Louise Rennison
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He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.
Louise Rennison
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As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
Louise Rennison
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Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
Louise Rennison
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Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.
Louise Rennison