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Unbelievable! I said, What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Would
Gate
Unbelievable
Gates
Olive
Parties
Crashing
Walking
Olives
Streets
Cocktail
Party
Stuffed
Night
Cocktails

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I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.
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I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
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I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.
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Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?
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You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
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How do you make yourself not like someone?
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Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.
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I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!
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Watching TV mum said, Do you miss your dad? And I said, Who?
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Out on the moors, The lonely moors, I roll around in sheep poo. Heathcliff, it's youuuuu, I hate you, I love you tooooo. Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee, Catheeeeeeee. Look out of your windooooow.
Louise Rennison
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison
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I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
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Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.
Louise Rennison
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...Then it said on the news, And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten. I looked down at Jas and said, Ooer. Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.
Louise Rennison
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How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
Louise Rennison
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P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.
Louise Rennison
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Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
Louise Rennison
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This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
Louise Rennison
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I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
Louise Rennison
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Heathcliff. The hero of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
Louise Rennison