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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
Louise Rennison
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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
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Bananas
Taking
Inch
Within
Beard
Care
Inches
Life
Sophisticated
Tanned
Italian
Strangle
Leap
Banana
Tall
Disturb
More quotes by Louise Rennison
Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?
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I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
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You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
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Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
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Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
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This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
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I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)
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When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made.
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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
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I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.
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The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.
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When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.
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How do you make yourself not like someone?
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I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
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I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
Louise Rennison
I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
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Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?
Louise Rennison
...Then it said on the news, And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten. I looked down at Jas and said, Ooer. Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.
Louise Rennison
