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I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Couldn
Frozen
Face
Unbelievable
Faces
Finger
Believe
Pale
Like
Fish
Fishes
Obviously
Fingers
Rigid

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How do you make yourself not like someone?
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As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
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I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?
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Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?
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Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
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I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
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Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
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He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.
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How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
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I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!
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Heathcliff. The hero of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison
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Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?
Louise Rennison
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When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.
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Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
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Watching TV mum said, Do you miss your dad? And I said, Who?
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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.
Louise Rennison
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And that's when it fell off in my hand
Louise Rennison
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Tom is back on a flight at 6:15 P.M. That is 6:15. Do you get it? Not 6:00 P.M. but 6:15 P.M. And do you know how many minutes that is? I do. I have also become a Time Lord.
Louise Rennison