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I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Come
Snogging
Would
Shouted
Cows
Literally
Stupid
Quite
Came
Home
Herbivores

More quotes by Louise Rennison

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Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.
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Tom is back on a flight at 6:15 P.M. That is 6:15. Do you get it? Not 6:00 P.M. but 6:15 P.M. And do you know how many minutes that is? I do. I have also become a Time Lord.
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Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.
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How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
Louise Rennison
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I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.
Louise Rennison
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I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
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...Then it said on the news, And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten. I looked down at Jas and said, Ooer. Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.
Louise Rennison
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Heathcliff. The hero of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
Louise Rennison
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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.
Louise Rennison
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Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.
Louise Rennison
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How do you make yourself not like someone?
Louise Rennison
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I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)
Louise Rennison
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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
Louise Rennison
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He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.
Louise Rennison
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Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
Louise Rennison
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He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.
Louise Rennison
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Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?
Louise Rennison
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I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
Louise Rennison
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The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling. ... Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie.
Louise Rennison
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What is that song they are singing Is it an old Yorkshire ditty you know like that 'On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at' Ruby said Nah it's a football song. It goes 'We hate Chelsea we hate Chelsea we are the Chelsea haters.
Louise Rennison