Quote

I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Afflicted
Way
Bald
Eddie
Uncle
Uncles
Rude
Seen
Ever

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I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.
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I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet - Georgia Nicolson
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Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.
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Heathcliff. The hero of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
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I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
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Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
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What is that song they are singing Is it an old Yorkshire ditty you know like that 'On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at' Ruby said Nah it's a football song. It goes 'We hate Chelsea we hate Chelsea we are the Chelsea haters.
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He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.
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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
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You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
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Unbelievable! I said, What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?
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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.
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How do you make yourself not like someone?
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Out on the moors, The lonely moors, I roll around in sheep poo. Heathcliff, it's youuuuu, I hate you, I love you tooooo. Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee, Catheeeeeeee. Look out of your windooooow.
Louise Rennison
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I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
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I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!
Louise Rennison
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P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.
Louise Rennison
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
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And that's when it fell off in my hand
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Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
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