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He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.
Louise Rennison
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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
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Blower
Ruffled
Technically
Assault
Hair
Came
More quotes by Louise Rennison
Watching TV mum said, Do you miss your dad? And I said, Who?
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Out on the moors, The lonely moors, I roll around in sheep poo. Heathcliff, it's youuuuu, I hate you, I love you tooooo. Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee, Catheeeeeeee. Look out of your windooooow.
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The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling. ... Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie.
Louise Rennison
And that's when it fell off in my hand
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Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.
Louise Rennison
You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
Louise Rennison
I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
Louise Rennison
I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
Louise Rennison
Unbelievable! I said, What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?
Louise Rennison
Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
Louise Rennison
This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
Louise Rennison
If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison
At that point Ms Fox came in and said, Hello, carry on as if I am not here. Then she lay down on the floor.
Louise Rennison
The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
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Tom is back on a flight at 6:15 P.M. That is 6:15. Do you get it? Not 6:00 P.M. but 6:15 P.M. And do you know how many minutes that is? I do. I have also become a Time Lord.
Louise Rennison
Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?
Louise Rennison
This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?
Louise Rennison
I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!
Louise Rennison
I will not have him in my brainthere is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.
Louise Rennison
Maybe he overreacted a bit. - A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.
Louise Rennison