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Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
Louise Rennison
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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Desks
Please
Away
Rosie
Beard
Desk
More quotes by Louise Rennison
I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)
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Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?
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I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
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I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.
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How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?
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I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
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You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
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I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
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If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
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Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.
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The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling. ... Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie.
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Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
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I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!
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When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.
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Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.
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As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
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I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet - Georgia Nicolson
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