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Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Louise Rennison

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Louise Rennison
Age: 64 †
Born: 1951
Born: November 11
Died: 2016
Died: February 29
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Writer
Bed
Dad
Brought
Fire
Middle
Morning
Tea
Night
Waking
Cups

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At that point Ms Fox came in and said, Hello, carry on as if I am not here. Then she lay down on the floor.
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...Then it said on the news, And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten. I looked down at Jas and said, Ooer. Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.
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There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do? I said, Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
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I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
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Heathcliff. The hero of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
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Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
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The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
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He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.
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When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.
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I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???
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I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.
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P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.
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This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.
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Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.
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