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When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and I think it only lasted like three episodes.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Called
Show
Robot
Shows
Lasted
Three
Holmes
Kids
Robots
Think
Cop
Thinking
Episodes
Like
Loved
More quotes by Louis C. K.
You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're ugly!'... Any parents there are thinking, 'What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman? That poor woman. I wish I could help.'
Louis C. K.
Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C. K.
It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C. K.
I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.
Louis C. K.
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
Louis C. K.
I can't just sit on my daughter's bed and just say 'n---' all night and then put her to sleep. I just ain't gonna do that... I told the girls that these boys are racists, and they're not nice boys. But I think we can still enjoy the stories about the fishin' and the tradin'.
Louis C. K.
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
Louis C. K.
I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...
Louis C. K.
Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art.
Louis C. K.
A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C. K.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C. K.
I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.
Louis C. K.
What we've done with our modern food supply is absolute insanity. It's not even real any more. You used to be able to give a kid an apple and they would love it. Kids can't even taste apples any more. Apples taste like paper to kids now.
Louis C. K.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of greatness it has maintained over what is now a record breaking amount of seasons ... How do you do that for so many years? My 14-year-old daughter and I watch it together and we both laugh crazy hard.
Louis C. K.
Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from.
Louis C. K.
Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
Louis C. K.
I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... Sir, could you please stop?
Louis C. K.
God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C. K.