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I could never sit down and write jokes.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Write
Writing
Never
Jokes
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.
Louis C. K.
I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
Louis C. K.
I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.
Louis C. K.
There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
Louis C. K.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.
Louis C. K.
Human kindness has no reward. You should give to others in every way you see. expect absolutely nothing from anyone. It should be your goal to love every human you encounter. All human suffering that you're aware of and continues without your effort to stop it becomes your crime.
Louis C. K.
You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.
Louis C. K.
I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.
Louis C. K.
I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
Louis C. K.
Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
Louis C. K.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Louis C. K.
...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.
Louis C. K.
You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there.
Louis C. K.
Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it.
Louis C. K.
I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Louis C. K.
There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
Louis C. K.
I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.
Louis C. K.
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.
Louis C. K.