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Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Way
Average
Americans
Lose
Loses
Stuff
Stills
Still
Canadian
Much
Crap
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I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
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I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
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I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
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It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
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I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
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I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, You hips. You hips need to get it together.
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If you can survive disappointment, nothing can beat you
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I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.
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My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn't funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.
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I like all ladies of all different ages.
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Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.
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I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
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What we've done with our modern food supply is absolute insanity. It's not even real any more. You used to be able to give a kid an apple and they would love it. Kids can't even taste apples any more. Apples taste like paper to kids now.
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Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
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Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’
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To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
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In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.
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Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
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I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
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