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Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Stills
Still
Canadian
Much
Crap
Way
Average
Americans
Lose
Loses
Stuff
More quotes by Louis C. K.
God is like a shitty girlfriend.
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The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
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You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there.
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Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.
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I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.
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What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
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When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
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People don't talk to me on airplanes.
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I just always loved comedy and I really wanted to be good at it. And it was heartbreaking, 'cause I started and I wasn't good at it. I was only 17-years-old, so I had a lot to learn about life in general. But I just kept on trying. I was young enough and stupid enough and I had no other choice. I had nothing else I was good at.
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Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
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In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.
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I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
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There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
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When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
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Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.
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It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
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When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.
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I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, You hips. You hips need to get it together.
Louis C. K.
I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...
Louis C. K.