Quote

Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Gets
Hadn
Somebody
Awful
Hope
Drive
Wish
Horrible
Body
Car
Like
Later
Sex
Awkward
Standing
Dating

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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I like all ladies of all different ages.
Louis C. K.
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One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. Get off of me. But I love you. I don't know you, kid.
Louis C. K.
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There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
Louis C. K.
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Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
Louis C. K.
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There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
Louis C. K.
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I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C. K.
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My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn't funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.
Louis C. K.
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It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
Louis C. K.
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Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it's a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?
Louis C. K.
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
Louis C. K.
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I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
Louis C. K.
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I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.
Louis C. K.
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I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.
Louis C. K.
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I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
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I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
Louis C. K.
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I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.
Louis C. K.
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Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.
Louis C. K.
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The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
Louis C. K.
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I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
Louis C. K.
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A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C. K.