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Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Children
Watches
Television
Competes
Child
Stimulus
High
Crap
Else
Bars
Beautiful
Creates
Kids
Absolutes
Nothing
Absolute
More quotes by Louis C. K.
Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
Louis C. K.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.
Louis C. K.
When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
Louis C. K.
There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.
Louis C. K.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
Louis C. K.
I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show.
Louis C. K.
I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.
Louis C. K.
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
Louis C. K.
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.
Louis C. K.
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.
Louis C. K.
You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.
Louis C. K.
When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.
Louis C. K.
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
Louis C. K.
I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.
Louis C. K.
What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
Louis C. K.
You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.
Louis C. K.
Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
Louis C. K.
Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.
Louis C. K.
