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When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Like
Guys
Guy
Two
Look
Come
Looks
Good
Kiss
Time
Kissing

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Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
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I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff.
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Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
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There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.
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The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
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I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, You hips. You hips need to get it together.
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When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
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It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.
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I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
Louis C. K.
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When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
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I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.
Louis C. K.
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Human kindness has no reward. You should give to others in every way you see. expect absolutely nothing from anyone. It should be your goal to love every human you encounter. All human suffering that you're aware of and continues without your effort to stop it becomes your crime.
Louis C. K.
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If the whole country had to have the same conversation that was safe for everybody, it would be a pretty awful place to live. There wouldn't be a conversation.
Louis C. K.
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
Louis C. K.
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Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about.
Louis C. K.
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Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, Those Chinese people, they can fly! You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!
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When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
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A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C. K.