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Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Live
Buys
Many
Dogs
Bill
Bills
London
Dog
Three
Two
Goldfish
More quotes by Louis C. K.
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
Louis C. K.
You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there.
Louis C. K.
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C. K.
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
Louis C. K.
If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
Louis C. K.
I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.
Louis C. K.
The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Louis C. K.
You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.
Louis C. K.
Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
Louis C. K.
If you have something to say, here's what you do: You write it down on a piece of paper, you go out in the lobby, and then you go home and you kill yourself.
Louis C. K.
My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn't funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.
Louis C. K.
Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
Louis C. K.
I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.
Louis C. K.
Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of greatness it has maintained over what is now a record breaking amount of seasons ... How do you do that for so many years? My 14-year-old daughter and I watch it together and we both laugh crazy hard.
Louis C. K.
Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
Louis C. K.
I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
Louis C. K.
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
Louis C. K.
When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and I think it only lasted like three episodes.
Louis C. K.
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
Louis C. K.
