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You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Never
Instruments
Would
Consider
Like
Playing
Stand
Audience
Without
Mean
Even
Instrument
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
Louis C. K.
What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
Louis C. K.
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C. K.
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C. K.
Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C. K.
If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
Louis C. K.
I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
Louis C. K.
I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
Louis C. K.
I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
Louis C. K.
You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you.
Louis C. K.
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
Louis C. K.
When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.
Louis C. K.
Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
Louis C. K.
Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.
Louis C. K.
I can't just sit on my daughter's bed and just say 'n---' all night and then put her to sleep. I just ain't gonna do that... I told the girls that these boys are racists, and they're not nice boys. But I think we can still enjoy the stories about the fishin' and the tradin'.
Louis C. K.
Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.
Louis C. K.
I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... Sir, could you please stop?
Louis C. K.
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.