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Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Art
Solo
Performance
Performances
Stand
Probably
More quotes by Louis C. K.
Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood it will give it to you.
Louis C. K.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.
Louis C. K.
All these words we use, anybody can be a genius now. It used to be you had to have a thought no one ever had before or you had to invent a number. Now, it’s like, “Hey, I’ve got a cup in case we need another cup.” “Dude, you’re a genius!”
Louis C. K.
If you have something to say, here's what you do: You write it down on a piece of paper, you go out in the lobby, and then you go home and you kill yourself.
Louis C. K.
I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
Louis C. K.
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are geniuses. If they had grown up with a different group of people, they could've been performance artists at Bard College, and people would be writing papers about them.
Louis C. K.
I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.
Louis C. K.
I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... Sir, could you please stop?
Louis C. K.
Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
Louis C. K.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
Louis C. K.
It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.
Louis C. K.
I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.
Louis C. K.
I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
Louis C. K.
To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
Louis C. K.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C. K.
You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.
Louis C. K.
You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you.
Louis C. K.
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.