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God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Girlfriend
Laughing
Thinking
Like
Shitty
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
Louis C. K.
If the whole country had to have the same conversation that was safe for everybody, it would be a pretty awful place to live. There wouldn't be a conversation.
Louis C. K.
What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
Louis C. K.
Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it.
Louis C. K.
When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
Louis C. K.
I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
Louis C. K.
I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.
Louis C. K.
You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
Louis C. K.
The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Louis C. K.
Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
Louis C. K.
Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them I watch them because they’re compelling. Sympathetic is a little different... Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows.
Louis C. K.
If you're older, you're smarter. I just believe that. If you're in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen to 'em ... even if they're wrong, their wrongness is rooted in more information than you have.
Louis C. K.
All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad talking is good.
Louis C. K.
I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
Louis C. K.
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
Louis C. K.
One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. Get off of me. But I love you. I don't know you, kid.
Louis C. K.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
Louis C. K.
I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff.
Louis C. K.
You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down... I had to do it, otherwise they'd win.
Louis C. K.
